Reflections...

Wasting Food

2012-02-06T11:46:00.000+05:30

We learn something every day .............

2011-10-13T16:47:00.000+05:30

We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.

Stockholm syndrome

2011-09-29T21:25:00.001+05:30

Stockholm syndrome .. simply explained for all of us "IT Professionals"

I know for sure my husband would readily agree................... ;)

Farmville - found my little OASIS

2011-06-22T15:42:00.007+05:30

Few months back one of my cousins hooked me on to Farmville. Generally I am not into online games but within no time I was addicted to this game. Initially it was plain and simple competition - a race to reach advanced levels. Gradually as I got a bigger farm it was day for spring cleaning :) So I decided to change the layout of farm - create a small garden, place cottages , main house, little ponds, ducks ,etc. (It is actually quite a fun. Wish in real life also we were able to rearrange everything in our life the way and when we want to do it................ )

Anyways I never knew that this simple activity would result in my own little oasis. I rearranged a corner of my farm into this little cute garden - with a pink cottage, ponds with ducks (and obviously ducklings), picnic benches, pink trees, apple trees, etc. And VOILA - suddenly I had my little oasis. A little place where I could so clearly visualize myself - on a nice sunny day, lying on the wooden bench head on harpal's lap, under shade of trees, along the little pond with a nice book. WOW even visualizing myself there is soooo relaxing.

So now have this little trick - in the middle of meetings, deadlines and mundanity of daily life - I escape into this little garden for my dose of relaxation. So if in middle of meeting if you see me contented with a blessed smile on my face - you know where I am :)

Jalebis at Trevi Fountain

2011-06-20T19:20:00.002+05:30

Roaming in rome (that has nice rhyme) we ran into 2 young Sikh boys.

Only a day before I was commenting to masi that I have not come across single Sikh tourist in Rome and were wondering if there is any gurudwara at Rome. We also realize that day after is gurpurab (Martyrdom of Guru Arjan Dev ji).

So we go and greet these guys for general courtesy chit chat. As we are about to leave one of the guy tells other to share some langer with us which he had brought from gurudwara. And we are offered jalebis :)

And in the middle of Rome (the eternal and spiritual city) (near Trevi fountain) we were "blessed" - just like that!

me and masi at Trevi fountain

Day of coincidences

2011-06-13T23:07:00.004+05:30

Had a day of strange coincidences. Couldn't explain it .....

I had bought "Sophie's World" - A novel about the history of Philosophy by Jostein Gaarder few months back and though it is absolutely unlike me to read (an interesting book) in intervals , somehow couldn't find time to finish it. I started reading through as an when I got opportunity/time.(I have real bad habit of finishing a good book even if it means reading till wee hours of morning on a work day). I found this book extremely interesting but still somehow couldn't read through more than couple of chapters at one go.
So here I am in Paris for 1 month for work. I have brought this book with me and intend to finish it in this trip.
Yesterday I planned a trip to "Château of Versailles" and packed my ipod and picked up the book as I was leaving the door. I had originally planned to be there at 9 am so as to not to wait in queue for entrance (had booked ticket online too), but it wasn't till 11 am that I reached there. Almost had a heart attack looking at the long winding queues. There were hundreds of people waiting in the queue (and that was after buying tickets). No exaggeration , check out the pics for yourself.............

Anyways back to the topic - Coincidences! So waiting in the line, I remember the book I had packed ( I also want to mention that I really found it strange that by the time I have reached Renaissance period in the book, I was visiting Rome and Paris!) So I take out the book and continue reading........... and the page mentions about "Château of Versailles" and Louis XIV (page no 211 and 212). I really couldn't explain that - I wait for forever to buy a book I always wanted to read, then I take forever to finish it off and am reading the author mention about the same place I am standing at (5000 miles away from home). Can't explain it .......................................

Second coincidence - I am headed back to my hotel - as I enter the hotel my ipod is playing one of my fav songs - 'hai preet jahan ki reet jahan.............." (a b'ful song praising the contributions of India and abt what a great country it is ..). The friendly receptionist Jacob is on duty so he asks me how my day was and what I did, etc . Then as I am about to enter the lift he calls me and tells me that previous night he watched a program on BBC on India and that he thinks that India is a great country............ I just stared at him as if spellbound as the song played on my ipod..............................

Nice quote ;)

2011-01-31T20:25:00.003+05:30

"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." Rita Rudner

Policies and Processes

2010-11-13T23:56:00.000+05:30

"How many of your policies are designed for the sole purpose of satisfying your sadistice tendencies?"

"All of them. Some of them are just more obvious."

- Alice & Catbert

Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors.

Dilbert

Notes to Self - Signs

2010-11-08T22:40:00.001+05:30

When you ask God for signs, also ask for ability to interpret them.

My unfulfilled desires - list of things that I would love to do

2010-07-14T01:39:00.001+05:30

Like most of the people I guess, I have my list of things that I want to do, and are still waiting. I am not sure what I am waiting for and what would trigger the escape velocity for me to come out of my routine and actually work on things that I really desire. I have enough time (no matter how much I shout that I am very busy), I can afford, but I postpone.

Here is my list of things that I would love to do, and I never did :

Learn to play guitar.
Learn swimming.
Actively contribute to some social cause. Work for some NGO that helps children and women.
Learn how to dance (classical, salsa,...)
Learn Reiki.
Incorporate the practice of meditation for at least 3 times a week.
Learn to ride a bike (obviously not pillion seat)
Take a cookery course and learn to make exotic dishes.
Travel to New Zealand, Venice, Paris and Hawaii.
Safari in Africa
Own a Jeep.
.....................................................

I think writing them down will help me and I will strike each one of them as and when I fulfill them :)

Life - Delicious ambiguity

2010-07-11T16:00:00.004+05:30

"I wanted a perfect ending.
Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme,
and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end.
Life is about not knowing, having to change,
taking the moment and making the best of it,
without knowing what's going to happen next.
.......... Delicious ambiguity".

Gilda Radner

Seven times have I despised my soul - Kahlil Gibran

2010-06-26T18:43:00.004+05:30

Excerpt from "Sand and Foam" from Kahlil Gibran:

Seven times have I despised my soul:
The first time when I saw her being meek that she might attain height.
The second time when I saw her limping before the crippled.
The third time when she was given to choose between the hard and the easy, and she chose the easy.
The fourth time when she committed a wrong, and comforted herself that others also commit wrong.
The fifth time when she forbore for weakness, and attributed her patience to strength.
The sixth time when she despised the ugliness of a face, and knew not that it was one of her own masks.
And the seventh time when she sang a song of praise, and deemed it a virtue.

Reading this made me retrospect about the times I have despised my soul.

So here is my list (and I am sure the number would be much greater than 7 ) :

When she shamelessly basked in the biased affection of my dad and didn't give any thought about how my siblings may feel about it.
When she was afraid to voice her opinion against the wrong, just because she didn't want to be on the bad books of people who meant world to her.
When she said hurtful words just to win an argument.
When she forgot to thank God for all the blessings in her life and when she never missed any chance to complain to God about any thing bad in her life.
When she was judgmental about people and forgot to look for same flaws in herself.
When she knew about her weaknesses and still instead of working on that just let made a fool of herself.
When she forgets to keep in touch with friends and family and just blames the hectic schedule.
When she was too stubborn to express her real feelings because she didn't want to be vulnerable.
When she chose to just offer empty words of sympathy when somebody needed real help.

....... will keep on adding as and when I remember more instances.

Creative thinking

2010-06-16T12:00:00.001+05:30

I absolutely love his excuses :

Inherent kindness in human soul….

2010-04-22T13:05:00.001+05:30

Why do some people deliberately try to hurt others? Others who try their best to be out of the way!!!

I am a staunch believer of inherent good human nature. It is my strong belief that people are basically good at heart, that is is inherent kindness in every soul. But then I meet such people who make special effort to hurt you, who are spiteful by nature!!! They are so bitter and carry so much baggage that even on happiest occasions of their lives if somebody calls to congratulate them, they don’t have grace to accept the wishes , but have to make snide comments to hurt other person .. making her regret why she made that effort!!!

I just pray to God that He bless them with so much inner peace and happiness that they forget all about being bitter. May God bless their souls and fill their hearts with love and compassion so that it gets manifested in their interactions with others.

Please God …. I don’t want to change my conviction…….

God …. a loving parent

2010-03-22T01:11:00.001+05:30

God is like a loving and doting parent who would deny you the evening snack because he doesn’t want you to spoil your appetite for the fantastic dinner he has planned for you (and not to mention the dessert…)
But the spoilt children as we are .. we throw a tantrum, accusing God of being unjust, not loving us enough blah blah. It is only when we are served the amazing dinner that we realise what he had planned for us.

My all time fav Richard Bach quote summarises this so beautifully -

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly"

Hmmm....never thought that way.....

2010-02-07T10:22:00.001+05:30

"Even stones have a love, a love that seeks the ground". Meister Eckhart

Loved this quote

2009-11-03T12:09:00.001+05:30

Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.

- Rabbi Julius Gordon

I just love this guy…….

2009-08-11T11:10:00.002+05:30

Scary world………

2009-07-29T19:25:00.001+05:30

Really perturbed by the daily news on the abuse of women. Scary because it is on rise. What kind of world are we heading into. Why are we deteriorating on values as basic as respecting and treating other human being as “human”. Why are we going back to Dark Ages where women were just to be treated as objects?

Was going through the article - Rape and the ugly Indian by Anand Soondas

Excerpt from the article -

If only India's other stats - on economy, poverty alleviation, healthcare - grew at the rate crimes against women are climbing up in this country. At an increase of 31% it is exponential. It is also shocking, amazing and ridiculous. A 2006 report by the National Crime Records Bureau said in India a woman is raped every half hour and is killed every 75 minutes. And this is according to 2004 data…………

India, as an article in TOI recently said, is now one of the most dangerous places for women to be in. We can do without this dubious distinction.

You can read the article at - http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/onefortheroad/entry/rape-and-the-ugly-indian#comment-form

Additional links

Now I understand why……

2009-05-05T10:32:00.002+05:30

Life is too short ...

2009-02-16T12:20:00.000+05:30

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't
and believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

First Snowfall of season..

2008-10-29T05:22:00.003+05:30

The snow has begun in the gloaming

And busily all the night
Had been heaping field and highway

With a silence deep and white.
Every pine and fir and hemlock
Wore ermine too dear for an earl,
And the poorest twig on the elm-tree
Was ridged inch deep with pearl.
----James Russel Lowell

My new mantra

2008-10-16T02:25:00.007+05:30

Isn't it strange that each of us has so much beauty & so much ugliness co-existing in our soul ...........

2008-10-15T01:05:00.007+05:30

I really find it difficult to come in terms with the fact that the same person who is so sweet to me and would go to any extent to help me out could be so mean & ugly to some other person. And how am I suppose to react, when other person is recounting the (true) ugly interactions he/she had with person , while I have seen just the most loving & sweetest side of their nature?

Why do we allow the circumstances to influence so much that we react in totally different manner? Why do we allow our behavior/reactions to be influenced by the outside interactions rather than being defined by the person we really are?

Don't Compromise...

2008-09-30T01:40:00.003+05:30

Falling in love with YOU

2008-09-24T23:08:00.006+05:30

“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you YOU love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
The last statement by Carrie Bradshaw in the final season of Sex & City

Notes To Myself(24/09/08) inspired this post.

Before I open myself to accept love from others, I need to accept myself as I am and love and respect myself for being "me". If I hate myself, how would I ever be able to accept that somebody else loves me? When I have low self esteem, I am either skeptical about other people’s interest in me or get flattered by it - both wrong reasons for getting into any relationship which is doomed from start. So before I expect people to love me for what I am , I need to know, understand and love the person I am. Self progress and improvements can only happen if I know who I am and what I want myself to be. If I change myself as per other's expectations, eventually I will find myself to be stranger in my own body & soul....

Loving YOU doesn't mean falling in love with only your physical beauty or your material success in life. It is about appreciating yourself and about accepting the person YOU ARE and the values YOU’VE chosen. Become conscious of your values, on your self esteem. Find out how much YOU love YOURSELF. Work on that instead of trying to please others. When you define the person you truly want to be, not based on what others expect, you can work on developing a real sense of self. When you have a loving relationship with yourself, and value who you are as a unique individual who’s worthy of love and happiness, it’s harder to settle in a relationship with somebody who isn’t right for you.

How to......................

2008-09-18T02:22:00.003+05:30

How can you console someone who comes to know that his parent is diagnosed with life threatening disease???????????? What else can you tell that person except to be strong and letting him know that you are praying for him?

With the pain of tragedy so fresh in my life, I can feel the pain the person is going through, but at the same time feel so helpless.... knowing you really can't extend any comforting words, can't really ease that pain and can't really help..............

Just praying for speedy recovery of Ashish's father!

2008-08-28T00:13:00.000+05:30

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.

- Bertrand Russell

If Tomorrow Never Comes

2008-08-20T23:48:00.009+05:30

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute or twoto stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming, you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day,
well, I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance to make everything right.
There will always be another day to say our "I love you's",
And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?"
But just in case I might be wrong and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget,
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, that you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear,
Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me," "thank you" or "it's okay". And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

Six months have passed since I lost my mother-in-law and I have so many regrets.......... She jst left without saying good bye or giving us chance to tell us what she meant to us. Had I known I had so little time with her........... There were so many things left unsaid, so many things to learn from her...... because i always though I have all the time in world....................

Somebody is not doing his job....

2008-08-18T20:14:00.000+05:30

Somebody is not doing his job....

Happy Independence day

2008-08-15T18:59:00.004+05:30

"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it "
-- George Bernard Shaw

Hold On

2008-08-01T21:29:00.002+05:30

Friends come and go,
but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle,
because the older you get,
the more you need the people
who knew you when you were young.

Cooooooooooool

2008-07-30T21:31:00.005+05:30

My blogging so far in nutshell :

Now that is Postive outlook

2008-07-28T19:35:00.001+05:30

That is what I call positive outlook and what I need on a Monday morning ;)

Soul agreement and Soul Contracts - Honoring Our Soul Relationships

2008-07-24T20:56:00.006+05:30

Yesterday I read this b'ful article and made so much sense to me.Below is the excerpt from the article (i will follow up with my interpretation in next post) :

"Soul Attractions"
One of the aspects of our life that is commonly affected most by change in perspective is our relationship to others. Rather than basing our relationships primarily on biological family connections or human personality attractions, we tend to be drawn to those with whom we have significant soul connections from past lifetimes, or from mutual experiences within other realms.
Oftentimes, we find that these "soul attractions" seem to be in conflict with our human life situation. For example, if we are married and we unexpectedly meet someone of the opposite sex with whom we sense a deep soul connection, and with whom we experience deep feeling of love, it quite likely will bring up human emotional issues, such as jealousy and insecurity, in our relationship with our spouse.
Or perhaps we may meet someone of the same sex with whom we may have shared deep connections in past lifetimes, and find ourselves confused by the depth of our love for such a person. Since we don't always incarnate lifetime after lifetime in a body of the same sex, our soul connections tend to blur the lines of sexual orientation and sexual feelings.
Before we incarnate, either through the natural birth process or as a "walk-in," we develop a life plan that will enable us to have human experiences which will assist our soul's evolution. Within the context of this plan, we make agreements with other souls who will play important roles in our forthcoming life experience. After incarnation, our respective souls choreograph life events such that we will come into contact with each other at the appropriate time.

Finding a "Soul Agreement"
There are at least three primary reasons as to why we might choose to establish such a "soul agreement" with another soul. We may have been together in a past lifetime, and may have acted toward each other in a manner that was inappropriate. Consequently, there may be unbalanced residual emotional energies which need to be worked out and brought into balance in the context of human life experience. Such soul agreements are often referred to as "karmic" soul agreements.
Normally, our soul purpose cannot be accomplished solely by ourselves. Rather, it usually requires a "team." So we typically establish soul agreements with others of our team, who, when we later meet up with them in human life, will work together with us in the accomplishment of our mutual soul mission.
When two souls who have deep soul connections with each other meet in human life, it creates an energetic "resonance" which helps to awaken a particular facet within each other's soul essence. So, we may establish a soul agreement with someone in order to awaken, and bring into human expression a particular facet of our soul which up to that point in time may have been dormant.
Sometime this awakening process can take place virtually in an instant, by exchanging "light codes" through the eyes, or sometimes it may require more time, through exchanges of the heart. How do we know whether or not we have a soul agreement with a particular person? There are several clues.
First, there is often an unexplainable feeling of familiarity when we look into each other's eyes. If the soul connection is especially deep, and if it involves a particularly significant soul agreement, there is usually a "freeze-frame" memory of the first moment we met that person.
In other words, as we later reflect back upon the first time we met a particular person, we may retain a clear "picture" in our mind of all of the circumstances of that moment where we physically were in respect to the other person, who else was present, and various other details of that first meeting.
Lastly, if someone keeps reappearing in our life, for no explainable reason, it is quite possible that we have a soul agreement with them.

Living Life with an Open Heart
In order to move into the fullness of our soul's purpose, it is essential that we honor our soul agreements, at least the ones that are of the greatest significance. This implies that we must live life with an open heart, and that we be alert to the possible significance of each new person who comes into our life.
It also is important that, when we first meet someone, we look beyond the physical and personality aspects of the person, and tune into the essence of their soul. To do this, we must be willing to look deeply into each other's eyes, and allow the natural energies to flow.

Finally, it is important that we create enough space within our existing relationships so that new people can come into our life in a meaningful way. When we first meet someone with whom we feel a significant connection, we are seldom able to perceive the full significance of that person in relationship to our life during our initial encounter. It often requires sharing time together, mutually exploring respective feelings and perceptions, before the deeper purpose reveals itself.

The concept of soul agreements, and their importance to our life, is relatively new territory for our human experience. We have much yet to learn especially in regard to integrating soul relationships into the context of our human lives.

As is the case in exploring any new territory, there are no "rights" or "wrongs," there is only learning through experience. But isn't that what life is all about? ?

Isn't that Just cute.................

2008-07-22T18:30:00.003+05:30

Choices

2008-07-17T20:56:00.000+05:30

“It is the choices we make, Harry, that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities,”
said Albus Dumbledore to Harry Potter in JK Rowling’s The Philosopher’s Stone.

People are inherently nice

2008-07-04T01:33:00.005+05:30

Why do the people whom u thought were "thoughtless" and whom u were trying to avoid, turn around and do something very nice and thoughtful for you, making u feel so mean and bad???????????

People I can't understand you. Stop confusing me ;)

Experiences like these strength my conviction that people are inherently nice , so before rushing to judge them at first opportunity I get, I should wait and give them a chance.

One

2008-07-02T02:44:00.003+05:30

I guess each of us, at some time, finds one person with whom we are compelled toward absolute honesty, one person whose good opinion of us becomes a substitute for the broader opinion of the world.

Glen Cook

Expectations

2008-07-01T01:37:00.006+05:30

I generally make this statement - "I have no expectations from people around me". and I guess I make this statement with lot of conviction - something I think I really have cultivated in me. Just today we friends were discussing this topic and Harpal commented - "Expect? It is being human. Expectation from any relationship is natural and is one of the basic instincts"

Can we be anytime truly free from expectations from everything around us? A deeper look around things and that is true, I have expectations from everything and everyone around me - my parents, siblings, husband, colleagues, teammates, myself and scary as it is even from inanimate things around me. Doesn't I expect my stapler to work every time I use it, my phone to ring when somebody calls me, my car to start when I turn in the key and my refrigerator to cool the things I put inside it. I do expect my body to tell me when I am thirsty, hungry or cold. I expect my parents to love me to miss me and my mom to make yummy aloo parantas every time I visit them. I expect my employer to pay me regularly, my colleagues to show up on the weekly team meetings and to reply to the emails I send them. I do expect ..................

So are we ever free from expectations from people, things..... I guess never, but what I can do is to control my reaction when things or people do not react as per my expectations. Do I feel hurt or can I rationalise and accept it? Do I appreciate when people give me their time and help when I need it or I just take it for granted as if it was my right? I think things tend to get ugly when I fail to acknowledge and appreciate the good deeds of people (b'coz I simply expected them to behave in that manner) or when I react badly when they respond in different way (the one I had not expected). I have option to scream at stapler and throw it out in frustration or simply get a new one.

I can also control the extent of my expectations. I can control my expectations from people to be always there when I need them (let me face it - people do have life of their own) and to be genuinely grateful and appreciative when they do take time out to do something for me. Recently on my trip back to India on a family tragedy, my cousins and their wives were waiting for me at the airport - middle of night and all of them had to go to work tomorrow. I was genuinely grateful and appreciative of their gesture. Would I have reacted same had I expected them to be there? I think when I start expecting from people I start taking them for granted. I fail to appreciate them and then when they are sometime busy to react in manner I want them to I - become angry and hurt.

Well that is what I am trying to learn - to control my reactions and my expectations. But all said and done I still expect my stapler to work, my phone to ring........................ :)

The Daffodil Principle

2008-06-27T02:13:00.001+05:30

An E-mail Forward:

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, “Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over”. I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. “I will come next Tuesday”, I promised a little reluctantly on her third call. Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, i had promised, and reluctantly i drove there. When i finally walked into Carolyn’s house, i was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

“Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that i want to see badly enough to drive another inch!”... “But first we’re going to see the daffodils. It’s just a few blocks”, Carolyn said. “I’ll drive. I’m used to this”.... After about 20 minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and i saw a small church. On the far side of the church, i saw a hand-lettered sign with an arrow that read, ‘Daffodil Garden’. We got out of the car, each took a child’s hand, and i followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, i looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron and butter yellow. Each different-coloured variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers. “Who did this?” i asked Carolyn. “Just one woman”, Carolyn answered. “She lives on the property. That’s her home”. Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house. On the patio, we saw a poster. ‘Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking’, was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. ‘50,000 bulbs’, it read. The second answer was, ‘One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain’. The third answer was, ‘Began in 1958’. For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom i had never met, who, more than 40 years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One step at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. “It makes me sad in a way”, i admitted to Carolyn. “What might i have accomplished if i had thought of a wonderful goal 35 or 40 years ago and had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years? Just think what i might have been able to achieve!”
My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. “Start tomorrow”, she said. She was right. It’s so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, “How can i put this to use today?” Use the Daffodil Principle.
Stop waiting...

http://spirituality.indiatimes.com

Paradox of our times

2008-06-24T21:14:00.002+05:30

Visit to Amish farmland

2008-06-18T19:44:00.008+05:30

Last weekend we took day trip to Philadelphia. The highlight of the trip was the visit to Lancaster county seeing the lifestyle of the Amish community or the "Plain people" as they are commonly referred.
I had heard about them but the extent of the renunciation of the modern technology was a revelation for me. I think what was astonishing to me -- I agree there are lot of people in world, even back in India, which do not have access to electricity, or any other modern facility for that matter -- but those people have no choice in that matter. It is simply because they don't have access to all those. But here is this community, which is living in midst of all this and consciously making a decision - to not to use it.

Our tour guide was 'Lou". She walked us through the lifestyle and the ideologies of the Amish people. What struck me most was when she was telling us about how Amish older folks are looked after by their kids, we all could see how wishful she sounded. She really was missing that her in life and I could have bet that she would have happily traded her life to be an Amish now. She made a comment that kind of stayed with me : "What we have gained on mobility from all modern technologies, we have lost on family love and values".

Some facts about them :

The Amish consider style and fashion to be vain. They feel that flashy garments are meant to get one noticed, and that is not something that they desire.
Amish women never wear any jewelery , not even on their wedding day.
The Amish do not draw social security, join the Army, or allow any form of assistance from the government.
Amish children only go to school through the 8th grade. All the grades attend together in a one-room schoolhouse.
If you see an Amish man wearing a beard you can be certain he is married. A male member of the faith stays clean-shaven until he marries. And they do not have mustaches since the Amish associate mustaches with military personnel.
Amish women never cut their hair.
Generally, the Amish go without electricity, electronic entertainment (television, radio, video games, etc.), central heating or air conditioning systems and automobiles. While the Amish do not use electric power, there is nothing against using natural gas to power their water heaters, stoves, refrigerators and gas pressured lamps and lanterns.
They also do not own cars but still use horses and buggies, but have no objections in riding in the vehicles of others.
The Amish are Anabaptists. They believe that a person should make their own decision to become baptized and join the church as adults, rather than through infant baptism as is practiced in some religions.
If an Amish child chooses not to become baptized, they are going through a period known as Rumspringa. Rumspringa, to the Amish, is regarded as the period in an adolescences life leading up to serious courtship, which is connected to permanent commitment to the Amish life and church.
The Amish believe that having their picture taken is the same as bearing a graven image. Since this is forbidden in the Bible, they don't believe in being the subject of photographs.
Amish children do have toys. Small girls have rag dolls, which are made from cloth and do not have a face, as graven images are against their belief.
Weddings take place in November and early December and usually on Tuesdays or Thursdays.
They do not have formal church structures. Old Order church services are held every other Sunday at home. Families take turns hosting the service.

Oops there goes another problem

2008-06-17T21:39:00.003+05:30

Next time you're found, with your chin on the ground,
There a lot to be learned, so look around.

Just what makes that little old ant
Think he'll move that rubber tree plant?
Anyone knows an ant can't move a rubber tree plant,
But he's got high hopes, he's got high hopes,
He's got high apple pie, in the sky hopes.
So any time your gettin' low, 'stead of lettin' go
Just remember that ant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant.

When troubles call, and your back's to the wall,
There a lot to be learned, that wall could fall

Once there was a silly old ram
Thought he'd punch a hole in a dam;
No one could make that ram scram
he kept buttin' that dam,
'Cause he had high hopes, he had high hopes
He had high apple pie, in the sky hopes.
So any time your feelin' bad,'stead of feelin' sad
Just remember that ram
Oops there goes a billion kilowatt dam

All problems just a toy balloon
They'll be bursted soon
they're just bound to go pop.
Oops there goes another problem kerplop
Oops there goes another problem kerplop
Oops there goes another problem kerplop,
kerplop

Dad - Thanks for spoiling me

2008-06-13T21:03:00.004+05:30

I have always been "daddy's girl" :-)
Since as far I remember - amongst the five siblings - I was his favourite. He would openly spoil and pamper me. He would tell everyone that i was his pacemaker. I have no idea what made him to pick up me as his favourite, but I am so glad he did so. I mean I couldn't have tolerated had he been so partial to any of my siblings and really wonder how my brothers and sisters took it. Well, I know -- they hated me. But I really loved each moment of his pampering and partiality.

It was open secret in our home - anytime anyone wanted anything from dad, I was the one they would bribe and then I would convince dad. everyone was afraid that the way he spoilt me I would turn out to be total brat, But I guess I turned out just fine.
He was so over protective about me. Had my father had his way - he would have wrapped me in bubble wrap and kept in some safe place.
What I am today is what my parents have taught me - but I guess I have picked most of my dad's qualities (though I would have given anything to be generous, loving, unselfish like my mom). He made me feel so special -- every moment of my growing up years - and I guess I carry that feeling even now.

Thanks Dad for picking me up for spoiling.

There is no secret ingredient. You are!

2008-06-12T23:01:00.007+05:30

"There is no secret ingredient in my noodle soup" says Mr. Ping to Po in the movie Kung Fu Panda.

Things become special, he explains, because people believe them to be special.
Realizing that this truth is the very point of the Dragon Scroll, that the power promised is already inside him, Po rushes off to help Shifu. The movie is a story about trusting yourself, finding your place in a world that seems to be against you and realising that Life is what you make of it.
So maybe one of these days I will also discover the secret ingredient within myself to be more patient, more loving , non-judgemental and a better human being.

Just Say It!

2008-06-10T09:15:00.005+05:30

"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who
would you call and what would you say?

And why are you waiting?"

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Love is a decision - not an emotion.

2008-06-07T00:36:00.012+05:30

Yesterday I was talking to my friend when she quoted this - "Love is not an emotion but a decision". So true ... Isn't it.

That gave a whole new perspective to this word/relation. Yep that is true Love is a decision that you take. When you "decide" to love somebody you make an effort to understand him, accept him, let him see your true self and willing to go that extra mile for him. Since it is a decision you try to work it out to make it a success. And without all these efforts not even the greatest emotions can survive.

As life moves on people change, circumstances change, likes/dislikes change ... The same things you were crazy abt yesterday may not sound at all appealing today. When I was growing up I loved chocolate ice cream, today I don't want to have even one scoop of it. In university life - days without (atleast 10 cups of) tea were unthinkable, today I drink it only if I have to, initial years of career , I couldn't survive without my cuppa of coffee, today I can't even stand taste of it. Bottom line ---I am not same person I was ... I am changing continuously and so are people around me.

So I am sure in this ever changing world, to make sure that this relation doesn't change requires a hell lot of effort. Had love only been an emotion, couples would fall apart fairly easily, but nope its an decision that you take to love and cherish each other. Since we have made a conscious decision to love each other, we keep on working on that decision.

Few more quotes about love :

-“You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”
-"You don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person who you cannot live without."
-“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”

Travel Light

2008-06-05T21:26:00.004+05:30

And by that I don't mean packing for actual travelling - in that field I am a total failure. No matter how hard I try to pack light, I normally end up carrying too much stuff :)

Well I am talking about travelling light in this life. About carrying the baggage of bias, prejudices, hurt and bitterness . My continuous effort has been to shed this baggage off. This baggage becomes so heavy that during the journey of life instead of enjoying the surroundings and the trip, we tend to be bogged down by the its weight only. We keep on trying to balance this weight and miss out on the beautiful moments that pass us by.

To quote Richard Bach - "Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you."

So when I am the one who had made a conscious choice to allow each and every experience in my life, how can I be bitter to anyone else? How can I nurture hurt or resentment against somebody else? If I accept each and every choice I had made - right or wrong and take total responsibility of it - I don't need to blame anyone else for being bad or mean to me. Am I not the one who sought that person to teach me that experience?

Long ago I read somewhere - that if you carry hard feelings for somebody you start creating 'karmic debt" cycle. Not only you commit your own self into repaying the debt , but also that person. How foolish is that of me. I know if a person/event has hurt me , do I want to be associated with him in next lifetime again? Just to get the thrill of watching him pay the debt???? Isn't that weird? Well If you think like me, I won't like to get involved in that person/event again now or ever!!!!!!!!! So what is the way out? Stop this karmic cycle right now. Just forgive that person and banish all hard feelings. Believe me , it is really that easy. If you say to yourself and believe that whatever the person did to you was because you allowed it - it becomes so easy. Just take responsibility of all the choices you made in life.

I am not preaching what I read in some book, but what I have experienced. I have come to stage in life where when I look back, I don't see any pain. What I see is bundle of experiences - both good and bad - which helped me becoming the person I am right now. And I thank each and every person for teaching me those valuable lessons. Only through carelessness of somebody, I learnt how to be careful with the important things in life, only with failed relationships I learnt to treasure the relationships, only through rudeness I learnt how to be polite with everyone, only through injustice I learnt to be just....................

These are not shallow words. I live by them. I really feel so light and if somebody asks me about any bitter experience in life --- I simply say I don't remember. And its truth, I look back and don't see any bitterness.

There is nice weather going to waste outside

2008-06-04T23:35:00.004+05:30

Exactly my sentiments today...................
Today it is so beautiful here -- its overcast , temp is neither cold nor hot and just a little foggy (u know when fog is covering the upper part of trees). perfect day to drive around. Really loved the morning's drive to office, and had to force myself to enter the office :(

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it

2008-06-04T22:01:00.003+05:30

“Everyone, when they are young, knows what their destiny is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their destiny.”

“It’s a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your destiny. It prepares your spirit and your will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It’s your mission on earth.” “

"The Soul of the World is nourished by people’s happiness. And also by unhappiness, envy, and jealousy. To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only real obligation. All things are one. And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Paulo Coelho

The Alchemist

pgs. 22-23.

There must be some Murphy’s law for this phenomenon also

2008-06-03T20:51:00.004+05:30

Exactly what we used to feel……….. No matter how early assignment was handed out, it was always last minute for us. Used to start working on it at 9 or 10 night before the due date, burning midnight oil and finishing it off at wee hours of morning.
But there were my friends – who would then grab my assignment copy as soon as they would set eye on me, start copying it at an record breaking speed and we all were able to submit assignments on time ;)

There must be some Murphy’s law for this phenomenon also……………………………

Things that change my mood for the better

2008-06-03T02:16:00.006+05:30

Relaxing with my head in my mom's lap.
Harpal's warm comforting embrace.
Rainy day, book in hand and cosy bed covers.
Monsoon showers and drenching in them.
Playing with my niece and nephews.
Family gatherings, late night out with cousins playing "dumb charades" and remembering childhood pranks.
Winter sunny afternoons in my garden with a novel in hand.
Univ days - sitting in canteen and gulping tea and Maggi noodles.
Hot oil hair message from mom.
Henna on my hands and its fragrance.

Money can buy you school admission but school time memories are priceless!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-24T00:24:00.004+05:30

Yesterday I was reminiscing the school days and so many happy memories came rushing back ..........................

Canteen and bread pakodas with that yummy chutney,
Mrs Mathur and her famous 7" high heels,
Anshu Mathur and his childish pranks,
morning assemblies,
house changing ceremonies,
playing "langdi tang" on the badminton court,
rushing from the examination hall to play - Mrs Mathur grabbing us and forcing us to review our answer sheet (and finding out , yes, we indeed missed answering 1 question),
Surdershan mam.
Girija mam,
Urdu/drawing teacher - Kashmiri Lal sir and his indiscriminate beating to whole class (and though scoring 99% - not able to read/write even 1 word of urdu)

................................. innumerable memories and priceless too :-)

"If he will give you his very last piece of food," she says, "then you've got love!"

2008-05-22T02:49:00.005+05:30

Recently I watched "The Brothers" on TV.

The movie is hilarious look at four African-American 'brothers' lifelong friends who band together to navigate through the turbulent waters of love and sex on their way to healthy, happy and committed relationships.

One particular scene kind of stayed with me .................

there's only one sure test of a man's genuine love and devotion, according to a divorcee mother played by Jenifer Lewis. She offers a cute new twist on the old truth about the way to a man's heart.

To find out whether he really loves you, she advises, just wait until you're sitting together late at night on the couch, getting cuddly in front of TV and a late-night snack. "If he will give you his very last piece of food," she says, "then you've got love!"

While I was watching it, I remembered what my husband had told me sometime back. Whenever we are eating , he insists on me taking the best portions (be it cake - the larger portion, or chicken) . He commented that it is strange that throughout his life he wanted to have best portions for him (and even fought for it with his siblings & friends), but whenever he is with me , he gets greater pleasure in me having them.

Yes , he "always" lets me have the "very last piece of food".

Push or Pull - which door would you choose

2008-05-20T23:17:00.003+05:30

There are 2 set of doors on our way to cafeteria. One that says "Push" and other "Pull". It is interesting to note that most people rather prefer the "Push" doors. Granted with your loaded arms "Push" is much more convenient - but I am talking about entrance to cafeteria :-)

Is this simple decision of choosing doors is made at rather subtle subconscious level. Is it not our psychology at play which instinctively tells us to push things away from us. Given a choice we would rather push things - people, relationships, emotions, changes, problems, new situations, .... away from us rather than pulling them into our life?

I have started playing this guessing game, based on my perception of the people which door would they rather choose. And I am mostly right about the people I know. people who are very confident and open mostly choose "Pull". I am not right 100% of times but I am enjoying this guessing game :-)

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it

2008-05-19T20:21:00.004+05:30

Isn't it Shocking for us too......

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

2008-05-16T21:36:00.004+05:30

Today's quote from Einstein prompted this post today.

Is that true? Is "Coincidence " God's way of telling us that he is up there for us, looking for us and bailing us out. But when we can't explain certain things we simply classify them as "Coincidence"! Much easy for us to accept if it is plain simple coincidence rather than accepting that there is larger force behind it and much better explanation.
I am firm believer in existence of God. When people tell me I have been plain lucky in my life - I tell them no - it is God looking after me! Instead of branding all lucky incidents in my life as "Chance" or "Coincidence" , I choose to call them "Miracles"- God's way of telling me that he is there for me. All I have to do is open my heart and eyes for his love and blessings.

Just an trivial example - One of my colleagues in my previous company would openly say that one should be born with Param's luck. He thought luck favoured me everywhere. One particular incident he loved to quote - once it started raining while most of us were on our way to office. Since weather was clear in the morning, none of us had brought any umbrella. It was good distance between the office and parking lot, meaning most of them were drenched ( and I mean really dripping drenched) by the time they reached inside. And it was winter time, so u can imagine how comfortable that would have been.But by the time I parked my car I saw one of my colleague standing beside my car with an umbrella. How nice! And the moment Rohit (my colleague whom I mentioned above) saw me all dry (while he was standing in cafeteria trying to figure out how to dry himself), he simply freaked out with usual stuff - u are so damn lucky. I know it is trivial incident and I could have simply said it was pure coincidence. But I chose to call it a miracle. God's way of looking for me. Telling me that he is there. Another incident I can't forget is - once me and my sister had to go to my old school which was good 30Km away from city. I had to collect some certificate or something. When we reached school we found out that schools was closed and realised that we had picked up less money. We didn't had enough money to pay for our bus fare back home. We were very confused on what to do. Went to friend's home nearby but it was locked. (I am talking about pre-mobile phone era, so we couldn't simply call somebody to help us out). And suddenly (first time in my life and probably last time till now), I found money on the ground. Maybe for some people it is no big deal and again simple co-incidence, but for me it was miracle , again God's way of helping me out.

So I am with Einstein when he says - "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous."

My mother --- my light house

2008-05-09T20:13:00.003+05:30

Please don't agree with me

2008-05-06T23:31:00.001+05:30

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.

What kind of world are we living in?

2008-05-06T09:40:00.013+05:30

All of us heard the news about Joseph Fritzl.
“A man held a woman prisoner for decades in an underground cell, forcing her to bear seven of his children. The victim was his own daughter. Behind this door and underground, unthinkable horrors occurred unheard and unnoticed for at least 24 years. 73-year-old Joseph Fritzl, an electrical engineer, kept his own daughter imprisoned as a sex slave. He reportedly confessed to authorities he fathered seven children with her. One is said to have died as an infant. His wife and their own six children lived upstairs, allegedly unaware."

This news item has shaken my soul. I have been trying to follow the news quite closely and every time new details are revealed my soul shudders at the cruelty and injustice to the girl. How can this happen? Can't be real? My heart goes out for the girl............. How can your own father even think of doing this to you? Seriously what kind of twisted world are we living in? Is this the world we want to pass in out to our kids?

Is it just me or does it seem ludicrous that a man who imprisons his daughter in a cellar for 24 years, repeatedly rapes her, and fathers 7 of his own grand children with her, can only go to prison for a maximum 15 years? Where's the justice? Come on the man was convicted of rape - he shouldn't be allowed to be near his daughters at the first place, leave alone living under same roof. Are we as society have become too polite to notice the atrocities happening in our own neighborhood and simply closing our eyes b'coz it is not directly affecting us?

And now the man's lawyer is saying -his client shouldn't face jail as he in mentally ill". Instead he claimed he should receive psychiatric care and not be put on trial. Shouldn't face jail as he in mentally ill - I simply couldn't comprehend that. The man who cold bloodily planned and executed all this for last 24 years - is not fit to face trial. The man who was so calculating and meticulous in last 24 years is suddenly not fit to face trial?

Well I agree there should be no trial but plain simple judgement.

And I though "life was so unfair" when I missed my morning cuppa of coffee, or today morning when I forgot to bring umbrella, or when I didn't took my sunscreen bottle along on my hiking trip. Wish life was this unfair for Elizabeth and her kids. Wish we could do something to ease off her pain.

Links :

Why he did it: Joseph Fritzl's : statement http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article3896492.ece
Timeline of the Austrian incest case : http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1904904/Timeline-of-the-Austrian-incest-case.html

Detoxifying mind

2008-05-02T01:18:00.002+05:30

2 days ago I went for the meditation class. Since last few days I felt an earnest need to find some relaxing techniques to detoxify my thoughts. My brain was restless and hyper active even during sleeps and almost each morning I was waking up red eyed and still sleepy.

So I signed up for this meet up that was organized by Rahul who had done a course with "Art of Living". The session was organized at a local church. There were around 5 more people in the group - all with varied backgrounds and cultures.

The moment I started mediation - my mind flooded with different thoughts, why are we doing it sitting on chair (aren't we supposed to do it sitting on floor), my clothing is too tight for the breathing exercise, will I feel anything different, Oh my God - most of our life have we need breathing so wrong...................blah blah.

Gradually my mind settled down, felt an internal calmness creep down my entire body, an undefined peace engulfed me and my body & mind felt so light as if I was floating around. In the meditation they suggested - "embrace the negative thoughts you are feeling" but believe me I couldn't comprehend even one itsy bitsy negative thought, all I could feel was this calmness, peace and happiness inside me, this exhilarating feeling of lightness, purity and contentment. It is difficult for me to explain exactly what and how I felt ... but the experience was too beautiful for me. I didn't want the session to end, to come out of that state...................

Maybe I should take that "art of Living" classes or maybe I should simply buy some meditation audio CDs and try it on my own.

What's Your Coffee Drink?

2008-05-01T23:15:00.002+05:30

Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?

2008-04-25T02:08:00.003+05:30

Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?
(Richard Bach)

Does geographical distance actually matter in friendship? Doesn't mental nearness counts more than the physical proximity?

Recently got back in touch with few of my precious friends back from high school. ... Manpreet (the sweetest friend I ever had), Rahul (craziest guy I have ever met) and Rohit (not possible to describe him in any words).

Ironically all four of us are in different parts of world so the face to face reunion seems distant possibility right now. But moment I got in touch with them, felt last 17 years distance vanishing in an instant. Felt had never lost touch with them and was able to approach them with same ease as 17 years back.